Families are like fabric interwoven, interdependent,
stronger together. Each one adds a different shade or tone or texture to the
family.
When you deal with a death in your family you notice the individual
pieces and threads that make up a family.
When one of the threads is no longer there you feel the
void. There is a hole in the fabric now. How to fix it this is the hard part. Everyone
has to step up do a little more take on a bit more of the responsibility, help
with the restructuring of the organization that is the family. Some respond
willingly some are forced to make changes they don’t like, but you come
together and patch the void. Or you cut the fabric up and create a new
patchwork style family. At times the pieces don’t seem to fit but given time
they start to function as a new fabric working together for the greater good.
While all of this is happening you still grieve for the one
you loved who is not there anymore. I think it helps to remember everybody is
feeling the loss. Some are affected more than others but all see and feel the
hole and know it needs to be patched. As we keep patching and plugging the
holes we appreciate those around us who are still here working side by side for
the greater good of the family. You see their true color shinning brighter as
they pick up the slack. You see how strong they are not easily broken. You can
see their flexibility and willingness to make changes.
So whoever you are in the family. Maybe you are the the
strong one or the organized one or the sensitive one or the stubborn one or the
tired one or the sad one or the jealous one or the scared one or the worried
one or the angry one remember we need each one to create the fabric of our family.
And together we are stronger than alone. Remember we have help putting the
pieces together and making them fit. We have help to keep the family together and like scotch guard
protects us through the rough times. The bible tell us what god promises at
Isaiah 41:10 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am
your god. I will fortify you, yes I will help you, I will really hold on to you
with my right hand of righteousness”. It may take some time but we will persevere
and get the holes patched and we will create a new family fabric we won’t
notice the hole so much but we will remember where it was and the way things used
to be.
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