Friday, October 10, 2014

The family fabric...


Families are like fabric interwoven, interdependent, stronger together. Each one adds a different shade or tone or texture to the family.
When you deal with a death in your family you notice the individual pieces and threads that make up a family.
When one of the threads is no longer there you feel the void. There is a hole in the fabric now. How to fix it this is the hard part. Everyone has to step up do a little more take on a bit more of the responsibility, help with the restructuring of the organization that is the family. Some respond willingly some are forced to make changes they don’t like, but you come together and patch the void. Or you cut the fabric up and create a new patchwork style family. At times the pieces don’t seem to fit but given time they start to function as a new fabric working together for the greater good.
While all of this is happening you still grieve for the one you loved who is not there anymore. I think it helps to remember everybody is feeling the loss. Some are affected more than others but all see and feel the hole and know it needs to be patched. As we keep patching and plugging the holes we appreciate those around us who are still here working side by side for the greater good of the family. You see their true color shinning brighter as they pick up the slack. You see how strong they are not easily broken. You can see their flexibility and willingness to make changes.
So whoever you are in the family. Maybe you are the the strong one or the organized one or the sensitive one or the stubborn one or the tired one or the sad one or the jealous one or the scared one or the worried one or the angry one remember we need each one to create the fabric of our family. And together we are stronger than alone. Remember we have help putting the pieces together and making them fit. We have help to  keep the family together and like scotch guard protects us through the rough times. The bible tell us what god promises at Isaiah 41:10 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your god. I will fortify you, yes I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness”. It may take some time but we will persevere and get the holes patched and we will create a new family fabric we won’t notice the hole so much but we will remember where it was and the way things used to be.



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