Conversations not always what they seem……

Some conversations are straight forward others not so much.

We had to have a conversation about another breast cancer surgery. At our last Cancer doctor’s appointment instead of the all clear I expected   the doctor found a lump. It was a little tender and it was on the scar where the breast was removed 2 years ago. Jessie if she had noticed had never mentioned it to me.  DR Brooks would have removed it then and there however mom is on blood thinners. So now we had to schedule the event…the procedure …the call it what it is surgery!.

This morning I decided we had to have the conversation……. the one that said so much without saying too much.

………Things needed to be discussed.

I asked mom do you want to have this procedure. (Translation do you want to be cut on again you are 86 slowing down is it really worth it. Can you survive it or will it MAKE THE AGEING SITUATION WORSE?)

Her response do you think I need it? (Translation I’m not sure do you think I can survive it?)

More was said…. always with an underlying thought.

At the end of our conversation I could sense she has made up her mind to do this. I know she trust this doctor and that says a lot about why she will have it done.

We don’t know what the future bring but we will proceed forward.

So now we get the test that clears her for the surgery….now we get Jessie off the blood thinners…..  And most of all continue to pray for wisdom for us to make right decisions about this…. We will pray for the doctors and nurses to have the skills & wisdom to do a good job.

I guess the real conversation at least the one I have with myself is am I prolonging her life or am I shortening her life.

I guess it’s like everything else in life you never know till it’s over. There are no do overs. You Make a choice and live with the consequences….. Jessie has made a choice to have the procedure and we will continue forward…..

I just want to be comfortable knowing I am doing my part to keep Jessie around as long as possible.

Procedure scheduled for the end of July…  I will keep you all posted…

The thing I appreciate about Mom is she doesn't sit around and dwell on the negatives. she stays busy... sewing mostly.

Even though we are going through this Breast Cancer issue again for the 3rd time we are focusing  on something else. We are opening a store at Booths Corner Farmers Market where we will have bags for sale  and invite others to see how we are coping with cancer.  This is scheduled to open a week after the procedure .For us coping means not letting the cancer rule your life. we are not letting it stop us. it is not going to define us. we acknowledge it and discuss it and keep moving.this is what works for us.

The next conversation later that day.......

Jessie is downstairs teaching one of the volunteer sewers how to fix her sewing machine…oh boy I think we are going to have to buy her a new machine....... mom it has electronics that may need to be repaired you don’t know how to fix that!…..didn’t I blog about when mom was trying to fix her machine …….

(translation mom you are not a repairman!)

her response (  Translation watch me ....I can fix anything)

I videoed part of this action so you can see it for your self because you have to see it to believe it.....  stay tuned....